[66—Safer sex]

I'd never encountered promiscuity before, but I woke up to what I could only guess was a room full of it.

With eight or ten people sleeping on the floor—out in the open and amongst relative strangers— one might be surprised to find a couple entwined separately under their own blankets, making loud love.

I could hear lispsmacking and dull moans.  I walked by them, not knowing who it was and approached Jared at the fire.

I heard another pair, in the opposite corner as I passed.  These were in deep throes of passion, and making no effort to be quiet.  It was one of the guys, or probably two.  It was still dark enough I could only hear them, not see into the corner.

Any doubts of the identity of the couple vanished when a heavy Nigerian voice boomed out "Oh man, take him big, red boy...I'm coming!"

You could have heard the proverbial pin drop, after the heavy breathing stopped.  Even the two girls making out in the other corner stopped and had a laugh.

Jared was bright red; I think he was innocent once, back before Troop 421.

"Any more coffee," I asked him sitting down beside the fire.

"Dregs," he answered and tossed a couple of twisty roots into it.

I poured myself about a quarter of a cup of inky black muck swimming with unnamed lumps.  I swirled it around in the firelight and gulped it down, hoping I wasn't drinking too many bugs.

I reflected on how much better the coffee was on Ophiuchus than here, ironic when we were among the best coffee producers on Earth.

"So I guess you're not used to this?"

I pointed my cup toward the gay couple in the corner.

"No, can't say I've ever overheard that before."

"So why did you end up here?  No offense, but you don't seem like a freak."

"Doesn't bother me.  I wrote 'don't care' down when they asked us what kind of people we wanted to bunk with."

"Oh."

"How about you?"

"They didn't ask, but then I was late getting here.  I think it was on account of my sex."

He looked confused. 

"They put you in the odd-squad because you're a girl?"

"No, because I'm not anything.  My ID says 'O'."

"You're an other?  Wow, I had no idea."

"Yeah, I'm a neuter.  I still don't understand why everybody is so uptight about it."

"Yeah, you'd think we're lepers in this squad.  I said I wasn't prejudiced, or scared.  That's all it took, apparently.  I'm branded for life now."

"Does it worry you?"

"No, not a bit."  He stood up.  "Have you got this fire?"

"Yeah," I told him, slipping into his seat.  It was warm.

***

Daybreak came finally, and with it, bird calls. 

Last night it had been frogs, a Biblical plague of them, and I could see they were into everything by dawn's early light.

My squad leader was up early, making something breakfasty from our meager supplies.  One of the frogs jumped out of her bowl, dusted white.

"Sugar," she exclaimed.

I went over to where she was working. 

"Sugary breakfast frogs," I asked, dipping my finger into the batter.  It tasted...bad.

"Coquíes," she sniffed as another one jumped in.  "They are unique to the Island," she picked it out and showed it to me.  "Not like other frogs.  These ones don't seem afraid of people."

"Wait," I asked her, suddenly realizing that the mixture contained eggs.  "Where did you get the eggs?"

"From the Easter Bunny," she teased, pointing to the discarded shells.  They were in multiple pastel colors.

"Um," I began, but faltered.  Another coquí jumped into the bowl.

She flicked it out with a spoon, without even stopping.

"Don't worry, Dani.  They are from Guinea Fowl.  Like chickens but they lay colored eggs.  Trust me you won't be able to tell the difference."

"But we're in a National Park."

"And they're invasive.  The P.R. authorities ain't gonna arrest us because we made pancakes with guinea eggs."

That's what she was making?  Pancakes?

"What are you gonna use for a griddle?"

"Hadn't really thought that far ahead.  I figured I'd just threaten everybody with 'em and you'd be up at the chow tent before I could put out the fire."

"Isn't that a waste of food?"

"You've obviously never had my pancakes.  If the truck has a flat, we can replace it with a short stack.  Dow Chemical has been after my recipe for years."

"Hello the camp," someone was approaching.  It was the Lieutenant.

"Time to get back in," she said, looking around at the bodies in heaps under still damp blankets, discarded clothing, and the breaded white frog on the wall.  "Just as soon as you get this place cleaned up.  What the hell happened here?"

"Just makin' brekkie," Lunch told her and spooned her up some batter.

"Didn't you learn your lesson last time?"  She turned away and spoke under her breath.  "You'd think two EPA warnings would suffice."

"Up and att'em," girlie-men," she hollered, ripping off blankets and prodding buttocks with her jungle boots.  They were almost all naked, except Reyla, who was wearing a full-length nightgown and even had a sleeping mask over her eyes.  She sat up like a nestling and reached for the mask.

"Don't do it, Reyla," her sister warned, but it was too late.

Everyone else was awake and scrambling for their clothes.

"No hurry Ladies," Nguyen hollered at the wave of naked butts; Keyla and Jemmi tried to pull on the same pair of panties.  "You don't have anything I've never seen."

I bet I did.

Reyla screamed and covered her eyes.  It would have been easy to feel sorry for her, to whom this must truly be hell, had I not talked to her little sister last night.

"I warned you," Geyla told her.  Someone threw a pair of damp boxers over her poor abused eyes.

***

There were trucks, mercifully, for us to load our mess onto and take us back to camp.  We were filthy miserable wretches, covered in mud and dressed in even filthier clothes. 

The Lieutenant made us clean, dry and sort it all out before we were allowed to leave for other endeavors. 

It was Sunday, and by tradition, there was no muster all day.

"There's a truck heading into town—the airbase, the market, and all that—and it'll leave from here in fifteen minutes.  You can all go or stay, whichever you will, but remember it returns at dusk. 

"Any later than that and you're on your own.  Don't miss muster, come Monday morning."

July came back from the CQ tent with mail and a helmetful of condoms.  She handed the post out; there was nothing for me.

"I want," she told us, fetching a handful of rubbers from the helmet, "for you little bitches to use these things.  All of you."

She worked her way down the line, giving us each a bunch. 

I took one in my teeth and bundled up my hair as Keyla snickered beside me.  I tore into the package and stuffed the bun into the tip, unrolling the body down over my ears.

Lieutenant Nguyen saw me and came over to investigate.

"What the hell are you doing, Heywood?"

"Using a condom Lieutenant."

"I meant for sex."

"Not having sex."

"Yeah, that's what they all say.  Then they go see Dr. Mendez with a case of swollen tummy."

"Hate to disappoint you, but I mean 'I can't', not 'I won't'."

"Look, ice britches, just because you're frigid, or asex, or you took a vow, doesn't mean you aren't gonna change your mind the first time you do the tequila dance."

"I said can't."

"Oh yeah? Well, maybe Jody has other ideas.  Look, people fuck.  Shit happens, but it doesn't have to mean streptomycin and the Valentine Irrigator.  Use the fucking condoms.  That's what they're there for."

"I'm using a condom right now, for the only possible purpose to which I could put it."

"Heywood, you're really pissing me off."

"You sure are a stubborn cuss, but I'm from Missouri; here, I'll show you."

I grabbed her by the lanyard of her whistle and tugged hard.  I marched over to the CQ tent, more surprised by my actions than any who looked on.

Dani, an inner voice warned, have you lost your mind at last?

I led her past the CQ and into her office.  I sat down and unlaced my boots.

"What are you doing, Heywood?"

I took my pants off and crooked a finger; she came to me willingly.

I hopped up on the desk and slid my panties off.  She was wide-eyed, but not moving at all.

I put my hands of both of her shoulders and forced her to her knees. 

"Look," I hollered and spread my legs.  "I'm not a girl.  I can't be fucked.  Got it?"

"Wow," she said, jolting to her feet.  She was pink in the cheeks and, I think, in shock.  "You really are different, aren't you?"

We went back out, the Lieutenant still a bit stunned, and me in my stocking feet, carrying my boots.

I knew it would make a big stink, but I thought it would take longer than this.

There was already a crowd outside the door, leering, and whistling.  Lunch even offered me a cigarette.

I snatched one from the pack and stuck it between my lips.